Everyone Likes a Ladies' Man

Especially ladies. I'm a friendly guy. I pat people's shoulders when I pass them. I shake hands more than most. If I see a woman I work with, I'll pat her on the ass unless she's sitting down, in which case I opt for the shoulder massage. Times are tough for friendly guys, so I do not touch a woman on her front side. That is sexual harrassment per the company conflict mediaton and resolution officer. Still it doesn't hurt to make a person feel good. Nice butt? You deserve a pat. Looking tense? Let me loosen you up. Some women I work with will sort of prep themselves for a good massage when they see me coming. They get that last bit of tension out by flexing their trapezius muscles, drawing their shoulders right up to their ears, and leaning their heads back as far they can as the arch their backs. I have to laugh at how that makes some of them look like they don't have necks!

One tip I picked up on is that as women move up the ladder, they become more uptight. So don't do this to your boss if she's a chick. I guess it's too friendly. Whatever. Just stick with women on your own rung or those below you. Who wants to deal with those uppity women anyway?