Bad Food Recommendation

For an overpriced, truly unenjoyable meal, I would like to recommend Steak and Shake. Famous for Steakburgers is what they claim. I think it's a lie, which would explain why the fame had not reached me before I saw the slogan on the takeout bag. Here's what you can get there:

1. Meat so tasteless it is hard to believe it is not a manufactured meat substitute. If anything, it has a flavor of dirty water.

2. Vegetable trimmings that should make them envy McDonalds.

3. Grease, dripping from the sandwich moreso than a typical cardiovascular nightmare that is any other fastfood burger. I think the extra grease is somehow supposed to make me feel like I'm eating steak .

4. A double cheeseburger that fools you by giving you two paper-thin patties, for a grand total that must be under a quarter pound. And I wouldn't complain so much about that, but look ahead to number 6.

5. A milkshake that is part water-consistency, part caulk-consistency, those parts not being evenly distributed. The double chocolate fudge milkshake was like Yoohoo mixed with eight ounces of Hershey's Syrup, topped with whipped cream and a cherry. Disgusting. Pulling the thick syrup up the straw not only required a prowess I would not want to claim, especially in public, but rewarded my successful attempts with a subsequent blast of pseudo-Yoohoo. I threw away three-quarters of it after feeling mildly nauseated, which is something I am normally hard-pressed to do.

6. Finally, for all this misery and a small order of unremarkable fries, the advertised price was $6.99 pre-tax. I normally would never had paid this, but I had never eaten at S&S and felt the novel experience was somehow worth the price. Little did I know that my shake, advertised as part of the package, secretly deserved an added charge of $0.70. In the end, the total was $8.32. I was about to write that I should have my ass kicked for spending money so stupidly, but I guess I got exactly what I deserved.

This meal, I should add, was a little excitement to celebrate my getting off work unexpectedly early. I normally eat at work for free. Also, fast food never occurs with me unless it occurs solo. Solo I was, free before lunch, the world's options ahead of me. And this is what I chose. It's like something a pre-schooler would arrange.